The jammers were sad. It was cold. Really cold. And there was NO STINKIN' COFFEE! ARRRGGGHHH! Unbelievable!
Ahem. Anyway, the children were gathered with their many strings -- guitars, mandolins, banjos, fiddles ... but there was no bass! Wayne wiped away a tear as he muttered, "I guess Santa forgot a bass player for Christmas again this year. It must be the economy." But before Jason could give him a hug, who walked in but Santa, toting a bass fiddle!
"Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas and Happy Jam-nation, you cute li'l pickers, you!" Santa said. The jammers were beside themselves with excitement. Santa tuned up and away we went with the first tune. At first, we looked around with puzzled glances and wondered why Santa was playing "Whiskey Before Breakfast" in the key of E-sharp. That's when we noticed theunmistakable smell of eggnog.
Santa had been slamming back whiskey before Christmas!!!
Next thing you know, Wayne is pouring eggnog for the whole crew, shouting "God bless us! Everybody!" After a rousing rendition of "Run Run Rudolph," Santa passed out on top of Kendall and Wayne took over the bass. At first, we were sore afraid ... but then the glory of the bass took hold and we were off and running again! We laughed and cried as George sang "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer." Tim Mills showed up in a Christmas tie. Will Christmas miracles never cease?!!!
We all said goodbye and as we drove out of sight, we heard Santa belch and slur his words as he hollered, "Merry Christmas you goons! Next year I'll *hic* bring my spoons!"
Merry Christmas, everybody!
3 comments:
"Santa sang bass (Jesus sang tenor!)."
Yeah, Santa's got style to spare. Down at the Nothing Mill last night we got down on it for sure. It was cold as a beeyotch as they say, but the pickin' was good, and since only the die hards were out, the place wasn't sickeningly crowded, either. Good times, good times.
Santa's having an open house Christmas Eve--hope youz all will pop by.
Thanks for getting the bass for us, Santa! Next time, don't take a break for so long. I've got a blister on my finger. How are ya supposed to pick that thing anyway??
I won't be there next week, but I'll be back after the first. Hope to see ya'll for a JB practice before then.
Merry Christmas to All
Sorry to have missed the shindig and I'm very curious as to this Santa deal??? I'll have to get the scoop next time I see you all.
Merry Christmas!
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